Maybe It’s Not About Flashbacks Anymore

I’ve been in therapy of some sort for 16 years. I’ve done group therapy and individual therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy, and whatever those other kinds of therapy are called. I’ve taken every antidepressant, every anti-anxiety medication, and a couple atypical antipsychotics. I even experimented with electroconvlusive therapy (it didn’t work). I’ve been diagnosed with depression, …

Long-term Cycles of PTSD

Maybe you can help me. My therapist says I should talk about this with people so I can get feedback on what I’m feeling: I go through long-term phases where my PTSD symptoms will improve for several months. I become vastly more productive and social. I make new friends, more people support my work with …

Rotating Inward

The website has shifted. The theme is changed. New lines of CSS code dictate the spatial rules and limits of thoughts expressed in this corner of the internet. Perhaps I feel one step closer towards achieving that “it” factor, that goal of a perfect representation of self somehow encompassed in static, community-less collections of bits …

Desomatization

Somatization is a process where intense emotions are converted into physical symptoms. These physical symptoms often build up over time. I experience it as emotions spinning more and more out of control, until they become so intense they solidify into something that feels tangible. My narcolepsy—or at least part of it—may be a result of …